Navigating the Low Points: How to Care for Yourself When Motivation Is Nowhere to Be Found

There are moments in life when we feel utterly unmotivated, lacking the energy to do even the simplest things. We know what we should be doing—things that would make us feel better, like getting some fresh air, exercising, or eating healthily. But in these times, even the thought of taking those steps can feel overwhelming, leading to a cycle of self-blame for not doing better.

Have you ever been there?

It’s a place many of us find ourselves in, especially when life throws us into a rut or we hit rock bottom. When things don’t go our way, when difficulties pile up, and the gap between where we are and where we want to be seems insurmountable, it’s easy to feel stuck.

I’ve been in that place myself—after the hardest breakup in my life, moving into a new space, and trying to piece my life back together. I knew what I 'should' do: declutter, tidy, get organised, exercise, and eat well. But emotionally, I was down, physically tired, and mentally drained.

In our approach to self-care, we often rely on mental and intellectual processes, following guidelines and routines that are supposed to help.

But sometimes, in our effort to do everything, we end up with the energy for nothing. And much of our energy is lost when it goes towards Self-Blame.

This is especially true when we’re already operating at a lower capacity. During these times, what’s most important is not just what we do, but how we treat ourselves. It’s about the relationship we have with ourselves—the way we speak to ourselves, the kindness and compassion we extend inwardly, just as we would to a loved one.

My perspective shifted profoundly when I discovered Lilynage, a practice that transformed how I communicated with myself. Instead of blaming myself for not doing enough, I began nurturing a more loving relationship with myself.

This shift that seems simple in theory but profound when we start to practise it —from self-blame to self-love—changed everything. I started being able to view myself more objectively and seeing myself as someone I cared deeply above and loved from the bottom of my heart. When I started to get to know my body better through self-touch and self-massage, I realised with gratitude that my aching and tired body was always supporting me and getting me through all the hard times in my life. Why was I always blaming my body and blaming myself when all I ever wanted was to live my best life?

One of the most powerful aspects of this practice is self-massage. When we place our hands on our bodies, it’s a primal act of soothing touch, offering physical comfort that’s desperately needed in times of stress. It’s not about perfectly following a massage routine; it’s about taking the time to nurture ourselves. As we gently apply cream, stroke our skin, and care for our bodies, we release oxytocin—the “love hormone”—which helps us feel comforted and loved.

With more time spent with my hands on my body, I started learning how to treat myself with the same care and compassion I would offer to someone I deeply cherish who was going through a difficult time.

Coupling this physical care with affirming words is a form of reparenting ourselves. Even as adults, we’re still beginners in so many ways, continuously learning, growing, and being humbled by life. When we’re emotionally down and unmotivated, what we need most is to focus on our relationship with ourselves.


“You are the person you spend the most time with in your life. You have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with yourself. How are you speaking to yourself during this entire time?”

Was a quote from my Lilynage mentor, Yumi-san.

It was something that made me realize we need to learn to accompany ourselves through life’s ups and downs, to remind ourselves that this bad day or bad moment will pass, and that we’ve got our own back.

Building this relationship with ourselves takes practice. It may seem strange at first but as with anything new and meaningful in life, good things take time. And it becomes easier, more second nature the more we practice.

Start small—apply cream to your body and focus on the words you need to hear.

With your hands on your body, feel what your body and heart has to say to you.

What are the words you need the most in this moment?

“I’m always here for you,”
“I’ve got you,”
“I love you no matter what,”
“You’re going to be alright,”
“I’m proud of you no matter what.”

These simple affirmations, combined with the comfort of touch, provide both physical and emotional healing, making us healthier on every level.

Take the time to speak these words to yourself.
It could be for a few minutes a day but accumulated over time, imagine what life would be like in 1 month’s time or 6 month’s time with a more loving relationship to yourself.

How we are to ourselves today builds up our future selves.

It all begins with this simple act to ourselves today.
“Together, we’re going to get through this.”